loneliness

i feel so drained right now from everything going on in my life. Sighs mostly the fact that ill never hear him say i love you again and i dont know what happend to him. Its complicated always has been with him... he hasnt said a word to me in a week... and ive never felt so alone before in my whole life. If this is how life is suppose to be i dont want it.

I met him on a journal kinda  like this one...but it was on a different site. Its funny how it happend because i obviously dont really write very well but yet there he was... interested and intrigued by me... and i have no idea why.I was just getting out of a bad relationship and i fall for him hard. Hes all i wanted after that and all i still want... wait for him to say something to me. I feel so pathetic..and i know i am but i cant help it. The good thing is that this helps me feel okay and to let things out its very hard for me to get things out. When something bad happens in my life such as loseing someone close or being dumped shit like that i feel like i write better its weird but true. Im not very artistic haha so understand if people hate my writeing...and hehe i really do not care at all. Whatever floats your boat haha.

I was offered a job today before school it some how made the day not so bad but became bad again with the thought that no one really cares that i did this.He would have cared...omg someone please help me get through this haha... i feel so dumb and so let down and so sad and hopeless...